so first of all, i’ll have to admit that on the swords’ private night 4 convo, i didn’t actually fall asleep...…. the generals’ post just blew up lecturing hiji and tsuru about what they did to hori, and tsuru had to be over there #GeneralsBeforeSwords
OH MAN KASHUU where do i even begin…. it started out so innocently at first, with kashuu helping tsurumaru with that weird rope on his clothes after tsuru’s (fake) dunk in the ocean, and then he helped kashuu put together his fishing rod to catch fish. they started off so well!! but in the beginning, tsurumaru felt this immense guilt being around the swords and acting as if he was their ally, as if he didn’t have to slaughter all of them.
the next major change in thought was probably during night 4’s sword meeting, after the swords lost both yamato and horikawa. of course, tsurumaru knew that it would be hardest on kashuu, but by then…….. tsurumaru's heart had ~*hardened*~ itself to the fate of murdering the other swords and not giving in to guilt anymore, AND THUS, MOST OF HIS ATTEMPTS TO COMFORT KASHUU… were pretty fake…… because aside from the fact that tsurumaru was probably still picking out hori’s DEAD FLESH AND GUTS from underneath his fingernails, there was no going back anymore. and aside from all that, tsurumaru just isn’t good at comforting others, so even if he hadn’t been a general, he’d have felt just as awkward trying to comfort kashuu.
AND THEN THE SWORD BLOODBATH CHAOS THAT WAS NIGHT 5 damn…… tsurumaru and kashuu learned a lot about each other in their final minutes, and i’m pretty sure that they just flushed their sanity down a toilet… the reason why tsurumaru bragged about what he did to horikawa and threatened to do the same to kashuu, if not worse, is that he wanted to make kashuu hate him. tsurumaru is incredibly good at detaching himself from everything, but kashuu taught him about the humanity in his heart, and there’s still a part of tsurumaru that was devastated about this entire thing... knowing that he lied and killed his friends, he wanted to make a reason for why they would leave him. at least, if he could say “my comrades hated me for lying and killing them in such a ruthless manner”, he could justify being left behind to himself… he wonders if he achieved that effect, though?
in the graveyard, after kashuu PUMMELED WHAT REMAINED OF TSURUMARU AFTER HORIKAWA’S INTENSE REVENGE BEATDOWN, i think they came to see eye to eye. you know, maybe it was the side effect of being stepped on, but he felt reaffirmed about kashuu understanding his motives (to an extent), and even though what he’s done isn’t going to be forgiven entirely, he’s grateful that it was kashuu on night 5, because kashuu comes the closest to understanding tsurumaru.
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so first of all, i’ll have to admit that on the swords’ private night 4 convo, i didn’t actually fall asleep...…. the generals’ post just blew up lecturing hiji and tsuru about what they did to hori, and tsuru had to be over there #GeneralsBeforeSwords
OH MAN KASHUU where do i even begin…. it started out so innocently at first, with kashuu helping tsurumaru with that weird rope on his clothes after tsuru’s (fake) dunk in the ocean, and then he helped kashuu put together his fishing rod to catch fish. they started off so well!! but in the beginning, tsurumaru felt this immense guilt being around the swords and acting as if he was their ally, as if he didn’t have to slaughter all of them.
the next major change in thought was probably during night 4’s sword meeting, after the swords lost both yamato and horikawa. of course, tsurumaru knew that it would be hardest on kashuu, but by then…….. tsurumaru's heart had ~*hardened*~ itself to the fate of murdering the other swords and not giving in to guilt anymore, AND THUS, MOST OF HIS ATTEMPTS TO COMFORT KASHUU… were pretty fake…… because aside from the fact that tsurumaru was probably still picking out hori’s DEAD FLESH AND GUTS from underneath his fingernails, there was no going back anymore. and aside from all that, tsurumaru just isn’t good at comforting others, so even if he hadn’t been a general, he’d have felt just as awkward trying to comfort kashuu.
AND THEN THE SWORD BLOODBATH CHAOS THAT WAS NIGHT 5 damn…… tsurumaru and kashuu learned a lot about each other in their final minutes, and i’m pretty sure that they just flushed their sanity down a toilet… the reason why tsurumaru bragged about what he did to horikawa and threatened to do the same to kashuu, if not worse, is that he wanted to make kashuu hate him. tsurumaru is incredibly good at detaching himself from everything, but kashuu taught him about the humanity in his heart, and there’s still a part of tsurumaru that was devastated about this entire thing... knowing that he lied and killed his friends, he wanted to make a reason for why they would leave him. at least, if he could say “my comrades hated me for lying and killing them in such a ruthless manner”, he could justify being left behind to himself… he wonders if he achieved that effect, though?
in the graveyard, after kashuu PUMMELED WHAT REMAINED OF TSURUMARU AFTER HORIKAWA’S INTENSE REVENGE BEATDOWN, i think they came to see eye to eye. you know, maybe it was the side effect of being stepped on, but he felt reaffirmed about kashuu understanding his motives (to an extent), and even though what he’s done isn’t going to be forgiven entirely, he’s grateful that it was kashuu on night 5, because kashuu comes the closest to understanding tsurumaru.